How can I prepare for a medical visit if I’m worried about being misgendered or discriminated against?

Unfortunately, it’s a valid concern—and one that far too many LGBTQ+ people share. But there are steps you can take to protect yourself, advocate for your identity, and reduce stress going into the visit:

1. Call ahead
Ask if the provider or clinic is LGBTQ+-affirming. You can say something like: “Hi, I’m looking for a provider who is affirming of trans and nonbinary patients. Can you tell me if your staff is trained in gender-inclusive care?” Their response will tell you a lot.

2. Bring a written info sheet.
It can help to have a one-pager with your name, pronouns, gender identity, relevant health history, and any accommodations you need (like having a support person in the room). You can hand this to the front desk or provider as soon as you arrive.

3. Know your rights.
Under Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act, discrimination based on gender identity and sex stereotyping is prohibited in most healthcare settings. If you’re misgendered, denied care, or harassed, you have the right to file a complaint.

4. Bring a buddy if that feels comfortable.
If you’d like, think about bringing a trusted friend, partner, or advocate with you. Just having someone else there can make it easier to speak up—and harder for a provider to ignore your concerns.

5. Plan what you’ll say.
You shouldn’t have to educate your provider, but having a few go-to phrases can help. Try:
“My pronouns are they/them—please use them when referring to me.” or
“I want to flag that gendered language makes this harder for me. Can we stick to more neutral terms today?”

6. Debrief and care for yourself afterward.
Even when a visit goes well, it can bring up a lot. Give yourself time to process, vent, or decompress with people who see and affirm you.

You deserve healthcare that respects your identity—full stop. Until that’s the norm, preparing in advance can help you feel more in control and supported.