How do I advocate for myself if a provider is dismissive after an assault?
First: you should never have to fight to be believed or treated with compassion — especially after trauma. If a provider is dismissive, cold, or makes you feel unsafe, it is not your fault, and you have every right to speak up or seek care elsewhere.
That said, we know how hard it can be to advocate for yourself when you're already vulnerable. Here's how to protect your power in that moment:
1. Name what you need.
Sometimes being clear and direct can shift the tone. You can say:
“I need you to take this seriously.”
“I’m here because I trust this matters — I need you to meet me there.”
“This is already hard to talk about. Please speak to me with respect.”
You don't need to explain or justify what happened in detail. You deserve care either way.
2. Ask for a different provider.
If you’re not feeling heard or safe, you can request to see someone else. Try:
“Is there another doctor or nurse I can speak with?”
“I’d like to be seen by someone trained in trauma-informed care.”
“I need someone who can approach this with more sensitivity.”
You’re allowed to switch — even mid-visit.
3. Bring an advocate or support person.
Whether it’s a friend, partner, family member, or trained advocate, having someone else there can help you feel more supported — and help speak up if you're being dismissed.
If you're alone, ask:
“Can I speak with a social worker or patient advocate?”
4. Document what happened.
If a provider acted inappropriately, took shortcuts, or failed to provide care, write it down — what was said, who was present, date/time, etc. You can file a complaint later, even if it feels too hard to do in the moment.
5. Leave if you need to.
You are not required to stay with a provider who disrespects or invalidates you. Your safety and dignity come first. You can always come back with a support person, go to a different clinic, or contact a hotline for help navigating next steps.
