How do I combat abortion stigma?

Abortion stigma doesn’t come from the medical facts. It comes from the stories we’ve been handed, the silence we were taught to keep, and the judgment that has been baked into our culture for generations. And the truth is, stigma is one of the biggest barriers to safe abortion access. It isolates people, it fuels shame, and it keeps misinformation alive.

But stigma isn’t permanent. It’s learned, which means it can be unlearned. And every single person has the ability to shift the culture around abortion, starting in their own communities.

Here’s how stigma takes hold and what you can do to actively dismantle it.

Where Abortion Stigma Comes From

Abortion stigma isn’t natural. It’s built. Layer by layer, message by message, generation by generation. And because it’s built, it can be dismantled. But to understand how we take it apart, we have to understand how it took hold in the first place.

Stigma doesn’t come from the experience of abortion itself. It comes from the systems, stories, and power structures that have shaped how we’re taught to think about pregnancy, sex, and autonomy.

Here are the biggest forces that feed abortion stigma.

Patriarchy

This is the foundation everything else sits on. Patriarchy is the belief — often unspoken, but deeply embedded — that men should hold power, and that women and people who can become pregnant should be controlled, supervised, or guided for the “greater good.” Abortion directly challenges that power structure.

In a patriarchal system:

• controlling reproduction means controlling people

• motherhood is treated as an obligation, not a choice

• sexual activity is policed more harshly for women than for men

• autonomy is seen as threatening when exercised by marginalized genders

When someone makes a decision about their body that doesn’t align with patriarchal expectations, stigma is used as a tool to push them back into line.

Cultural expectations

Most of us grew up with subtle (or not-so-subtle) ideas about what “good” women or pregnant people are supposed to do. Those expectations weren’t written down, but they were everywhere. They taught us that motherhood should be the default, that sacrificing yourself is admirable, and that deviating from that path invites judgment.

So when someone chooses abortion, even for thoughtful, valid, complex reasons, it bumps up against cultural scripts that say:
You’re not supposed to choose anything other than continuing a pregnancy.

Religious pressure

Religious messaging can be incredibly powerful — not because everyone in a religion agrees, but because many people were taught their entire worldview through a spiritual lens. Even when individuals personally do not believe abortion is wrong, early messages about sin, suffering, and “purpose” can linger and create internalized stigma.

And in many communities, religious rhetoric about abortion is treated as fact rather than interpretation.

Misinformation

This is a huge source of stigma. When people don’t have accurate, evidence-based information about abortion, myths slide right in. Myths about safety, myths about regret, myths about who gets abortions, myths about what abortion actually is.

Misinformation thrives in silence. When people feel too ashamed to ask questions, fear-based narratives take root. And once they do, they’re hard to unlearn unless someone interrupts them with factual, compassionate information.

Gender roles

Gendered expectations are everywhere. Society still teaches that:

• people who become pregnant should be selfless

• motherhood is the “natural” path

• sex should happen on certain terms and for certain reasons

These beliefs make abortion seem like a deviation from femininity or morality. And they ignore the reality that people with all kinds of identities and lives choose abortion — not because they reject motherhood, but because they’re making a decision that fits their circumstances, values, and futures.

Social pressure

Sometimes stigma doesn’t come from institutions. It comes from the group chats, the small-town whispers, the family dynamics, the comments people make at work. It comes from silence — the understanding that certain topics are off-limits.

People learn quickly when a community is not a safe place to share the truth about their lives. And that keeps everyone trapped in the same cycle of secrecy.

Media portrayals

Movies, TV, and even news stories still treat abortion like a dramatic plot twist instead of routine healthcare. Abortion is often shown as dangerous, traumatic, rare, or punishable — which reinforces the idea that choosing abortion is inherently extreme.

When the only abortion stories people see are distorted, stigma grows.

What You Can Do Right Now To Combat Abortion Stigma

There are three major ways people can shift the narrative around abortion: by speaking more honestly, learning the facts, and supporting people who’ve had abortions in a compassionate, grounded way.

Let’s break those down.

1. Speak Honestly About Abortion

One of the strongest antidotes to stigma is simply talking about abortion without whispering, apologizing, or tip-toeing.

You don’t have to tell your full story. You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to be willing to say the word abortion and talk about why access matters to you.

That alone chips away at the cultural expectation that abortion is something we shouldn’t acknowledge.

Speaking up looks like:

• correcting myths when you hear them

• talking openly about why you support access

• naming abortion as normal, common, and responsible health care

• reminding people that ending a pregnancy is not a character flaw

When people around you hear someone speak calmly and confidently, it reframes what “normal” looks like.

2. Learn the Facts — and Share Them When It Helps

Stigma thrives in confusion. When people don’t know the science, the safety data, the reasons people have abortions, or how common abortion actually is, shame multiplies.

You don’t need to know everything. Just having accurate, grounded information helps you push back when you encounter fear-based narratives.

You can:

• read real abortion stories

• learn how medication abortion works

• understand why people have abortions at all stages of pregnancy

• recognize common myths and know how to gently correct them

When you bring clarity into the conversation, you make room for others to question the stories they’ve inherited.

3. Support People Who’ve Had Abortions — Without Judgment

People who have abortions are not looking for a debate. They’re looking for safety.

The way we respond to someone’s abortion experience either strengthens stigma or helps dismantle it.

Here’s what support can sound like:

• “I’m here if you want to talk.”

• “You’re not alone. So many people make this decision.”

• “Your feelings — whatever they are — are valid.”

• “You don’t have to justify your decision to anyone.”

You don’t need perfect language. You just have to show up without judgment.

Listen to Real Stories & Share them when able

Nothing combats stigma more effectively than hearing people speak truthfully about their own abortions.

Stories remind us that abortion is not theoretical. It’s real people making personal, thoughtful decisions about their lives, families, health, and futures.

Listening expands empathy. Sharing breaks silence. Both change culture.