Responding to a Reproductive Healthcare Needs: A Parent’s Guide
When your teen or college-aged child calls you about something going on with their body—whether it’s a missed period, a birth control mishap, a suspected infection, or a scare they don’t yet have words for—it can be emotional, urgent, and overwhelming for both of you.
This guide is here to help you meet that moment with clarity, care, and calm.
What This Might Look Like
You might get a text that says, “Can we talk?”
Or a teary phone call from college.
Or a panicked confession at home after they find out emergency contraception might not work how they thought.
No matter how it comes up—your response sets the tone.
First: Pause and Breathe
Even if you’re spiraling inside, take a deep breath. Your job isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to be a soft landing. Your child needs to know you’re on their team, no matter what.
Try this:
“Thanks for telling me. I know this feels big. We’re going to figure it out together.”
Then: Ask the Right Questions
Without interrogating, start gently gathering information. Keep your voice steady, your words short, and your heart open.
“When did your last period start?”
“What happened? Can you walk me through it?”
“Do you have any pain, fever, or bleeding?”
“Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
“Have you already taken Plan B or anything else?”
These aren’t just fact-finding—they’re scaffolding. You’re helping them organize the moment.
If It’s a Missed Period or Pregnancy Scare
Start with a urine pregnancy test, ideally first thing in the morning. They’re available at most pharmacies or grocery stores for $5–15.
If it’s positive, you don’t need to react with fear or pressure. Ask:
“Do you want to talk through your options?”
“What would feel helpful to do next?”
“Do you want me to help make an appointment?”
Remember: your job is not to direct—it’s to support.
If it’s negative, but they’re still late, don’t dismiss their instincts. Track symptoms and consider follow-up if things feel off.
If It’s a Birth Control Mishap
Whether a condom broke, pills were missed, or they misunderstood timing—it’s okay. Emergency contraception (like Plan B or Ella) works best when taken early. Offer to help them access it, and talk through:
When and how it was taken
Whether they might need a backup method
How they felt about the experience
This is a chance to talk about protection—not just against pregnancy, but also STIs, and how to feel more confident next time.
If It’s a Suspected Infection
If they’re having pain, burning, itching, abnormal discharge, or discomfort after sex—they may be worried about an infection.
Let them know:
It’s common, it’s treatable, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
The sooner they’re seen, the better they’ll feel.
You’ll help them get care that’s respectful and private.
Help them book a local appointment (Planned Parenthood or a teen-friendly clinic can be great) or ask their school’s health center if applicable.
If It’s Not Clear What’s Going On
Sometimes they just know something feels off. That’s enough. Trust their instincts, and say:
“If something doesn’t feel right in your body, you deserve to get it checked out.”
Don’t wait for a clear diagnosis before acting. Help them access care, ask questions, and remind them they’re allowed to speak up even if they don’t have all the words.
Your Reassurance Matters
Make sure to say it out loud:
“I’m not mad. I’m glad you came to me.”
“You deserve care that listens.”
“I’ll help you figure this out—and you’re not alone.”
You Don’t Have to Know Everything—But You Do Have Tools
Direct them to platforms like ours for guidance, scripts, and Know Your Rights tools. If abortion is on the table, our chatbot Charley can help find safe, legal options by ZIP code.
And One More Thing:
If you were raised to fear these conversations, or taught that sex and reproductive care are shameful—this is your moment to break that cycle. The fact that you’re reading this means you care. That’s enough to start doing better.
Your calm is a gift.
Your support is a shield.
And your kid will remember how you showed up.
