Raising an Advocate

Helping Your Teen Find Their Voice in Healthcare (and Life)


We teach our kids to say “thank you,” “please,” and “excuse me.”
But are we teaching them to say:

  • “I’m not comfortable with that.”

  • “Can you explain what you’re doing before you do it?”

  • “I need you to stop.”

Because in healthcare—and in life—consent and self-advocacy are survival skills.
And the earlier we teach them, the safer, stronger, and more self-assured our kids become.

Why this matters more than ever

Your teen will have interactions throughout their life where someone else is in a position of authority—teachers, doctors, coaches, partners.
They need to know:

  • Their body is their own

  • They have a right to ask questions

  • They are allowed to say no

  • They should never feel pressured to say yes just to be polite

These are not just lessons for sex ed or safety talks.
They are core principles for every healthcare encounter.

Let’s start in the exam room.

It might seem like a small thing, but moments like these matter:

  • A provider moving too quickly without explaining what they’re doing

  • A pelvic or breast exam without clear explanation or consent

  • Being asked questions that feel intrusive or judgmental

Help your teen understand:

“Even in a doctor’s office, you are allowed to pause, ask questions, or say no. That is your body.”

Teach consent as a healthcare skill, too.

Try language like:

  • “You can say, ‘I’d like you to explain everything before you do it.’”

  • “You’re allowed to ask, ‘Is this necessary right now, or can we wait?’”

  • “If something doesn’t feel right, you can say, ‘I need a minute,’ or ‘I’d prefer not to do that today.’”

Consent doesn’t disappear when someone’s wearing a white coat.
That’s where it matters most.

Help them prep before appointments

Let your teen take the lead, but offer support in:

  • Writing down symptoms, questions, or things they’re nervous about

  • Choosing whether or not they want you in the room

  • Practicing how to speak up if they feel confused, rushed, or uncomfortable

Let them know:

“You don’t owe anyone access to your body—not even a doctor. They work for you.”

Model it yourself

Be honest about your own experiences with consent and advocacy.
Even saying:

“I didn’t learn how to speak up until I was much older. I want that to be different for you.”
...shows them this is something worth unlearning and relearning across a lifetime.

What if the provider doesn’t respond well?

That’s not on your teen.
That’s a sign it’s time to find a different provider.

Help them debrief. Remind them:

  • They did nothing wrong

  • Their instincts are valid

  • It’s okay to ask for someone who listens the first time

Consent and advocacy go hand-in-hand.

Because when your teen learns to say:

  • “That doesn’t feel right to me.”

  • “Can you explain why you’re recommending that?”

  • “I’m going to pass on that today.”

They’re not just protecting themselves.
They’re building trust in their own voice—and learning that it matters.

The bottom line?

Raising an advocate means raising a kid who knows they are allowed to speak up, set boundaries, and protect their peace—in a doctor’s office, in relationships, and everywhere in between.

And if you’re here reading this?
You're likely already modeling what support looks like.
That’s the kind of parent—and person—they’ll remember when it’s their turn to speak up.

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